He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I forget how to act sober
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
