Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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