are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
