Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
