I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize