The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
