Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
