He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize