There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
