Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
