Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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