Apparently you make a good broom.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
