Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
