i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
