White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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