that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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