if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
