Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
