dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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