Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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