come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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