I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
