ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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