My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Your tits are I can't wait for
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
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