...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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