You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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