If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize