His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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