I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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