At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
