I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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