I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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