its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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