fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize