How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
