It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
