apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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