Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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