I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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