Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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