You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
