Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
