i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize