WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize