Joe is yelling at the trees again.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
