I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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