i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
