My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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