Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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