i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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