BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
