You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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