even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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