Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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