The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
