That's intense
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
