Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
