I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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