apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He felt like a one man threesome
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
