your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
