I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
