I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
