dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize