32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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